By Christiénne Miller

“Hey, cottage cheese legs…yeah, I’m talking to you. Do you mind moving your fat #$$ so I can get my cart past you?”

Oh no he didn’t say that, I remember thinking as the red-faced woman turned toward her verbal assailant. The light, residual splash I felt on my face from her bottle of water hitting him, square in the middle of his face, told me that he did say it — and out loud, no less. I was glad to be exiting the grocery store at the time, and did so more quickly than usual.

Ah, cellulite; the bane of females everywhere. So abhorred that we spend small fortunes on trying to overcome the condition. Though there are treatments, creams, and affirmations galore, nothing can truly banish the tell-tale dimples. Fat, thin, short or tall - cellulite doesn’t discriminate. It’s an equal opportunity offender.

If there could be a bright spot about fatty deposits, however, it’s the knowledge that cellulite can be worked with and camouflaged to appear less obvious. Some things to try include:

• Increasing your fiber and water intake
• Massaging your “problem areas” with the latest stimulating creams
• Applying some self-tanner to minimize cellulite’s appearance

What about your cellulite voodoo secret? Is there a product or procedure you absolutely love, recommend, or can’t live without?

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