by Harlow Essex

Mother/daughter relationships are… tricky. Some say they are “best friends” with their mom while others feel totally disconnected and/or abandoned. There is an incomparable connection with one’s mother and I strongly believe that, that specific bond affects every other relationship one has for the rest of their life.

No matter what has happened, how dramatic or emotional in your childhood, children as well as adults feel they must always please their parent. Obviously, that doesn’t really happen. Communication is beyond important in every relationship but I think the root of it is founded with the parents, particularly the mom. Some men may feel this way about their fathers while women I think, are constantly finding approval from the mother. There must be a more scientific reason, surely.

“Most mothers are supportive of their daughters, want to be supportive of their daughters, and feel very confused by them,” says Juanita Johnson, a New York-based therapist and storyteller who does presentations on the mother-daughter relationship with her own 27-year-old daughter. “One of the things that I observe quite frequently is that the mother knows so very little about her own self that she’s placing way too much emphasis on how her daughter turns out rather than, ‘What do I know about myself and how do I feel about myself?’ I think daughters can model a great deal from a mother who is self-aware herself.”… “Will the mother accept the daughter as an adult? That means, when she’s visiting you, does she let you run your house? Does she trust you to be independent on small issues as well as large – who are you with, what’s your sexuality, where do you work, how do you spend your money? Letting the daughter be her own woman is a universal issue.”-Heathdiscovery.com

I find it interesting that all women can relate to the dynamics of a mother/daughter relationship. There are issues and feelings that transcend cultures and religion, and that unify all women.

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