Book Reviews

Itchy Business

scratchy catBy Holly

One of the reasons I love what I do is because I get to spread valuable information throughout the Sweet Talk community.

In a recent email, a friend asked my advice on some personal discomfort she was experiencing.

After turning 40, she noticed that she seemed to be plagued by vaginal itching and irritation whenever she and her husband were intimate — which, after the birth of their daughter, wasn’t all that frequent. Sometimes it would resolve itself, but other times she found herself going to her doctor for treatment. Being someone with an aversion to taking a lot of medications, she asked me if I knew of anything else she could try.

Not being a doctor, I decided to reference one. So, I opened my copy of Ask Dr. Marie, written by ABC News Medical Contributor Marie Savard, M.D. If you’re a woman and don’t own this book, I highly recommend it. It gives you comprehensive medical information on all aspects of anatomy and sexuality, so that you can carry on specific conversations with your own doctor to result in your best possible care.

Chapter seven of this book covers some of the most common and unusual causes and cures of itchy business in the sweet spot. It was in this chapter that I encountered bacterial vaginosis (BV). According to Dr. Marie, this is responsible for more than 50% of all vaginal irritation.

The main cause of BV seems to be a disruption in the pH balance of the vaginal area. One cause is a woman’s sensitivity to a man’s seminal fluid, which is alkaline as opposed to the acidity of the vagina. Another is douching, which also upsets the natural pH balance of your sweet spot.

Equipped with this information, I’ll share the advice I gave to my friend (in addition to a copy of Ask Dr. Marie). The issue she’s experiencing with her husband is one that may be remedied quite simply by increasing her frequency of intimacy with him — even if it’s only a quickie. The reason seems to be that the vagina is not only self-cleaning, it’s self-adjusting too.

The other suggestion is for her to abandon douching for the more appropriate SweetSpot Labs bidet-in-a-bottle and some on-the-go-wipettes instead. Even the Journal of the American Medical Association concurs that, since so much happens in such a compact area (i.e. sexual activity and going to the bathroom), using wipes to clean the vaginal area encourages better overall health and wellness of your sweet spot.

With all that being said, I’d say this itchy business has been thoroughly scratched! :)

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The Beauty Prescription

by Lisbeth Endre2915032

This was a terrific book.  It’s filled with lot’s of practical advice on dealing with feelings and attitudes, and how to enhance one’s sense of well being.

The Beauty Prescription gives women from age 20 and beyond a lifetime plan for becoming more beautiful and staying  beautiful.

Dr. Lufton, a board certified Beverly Hills dermatologist, and Dr. Ritvo, a internationally known South Beach psychiatrist, join their expertise to take a unique look at beauty of the body and mind, and have created this inspirational guide to getting gorgeous, inside and out.

Their empowering message that all women are beautiful will help you discover how to bring out your maximum potential as you blossom into a more charismatic, self-assured, and multidimensional woman.

The chapter on the “Faith Lift,” a holistic alternative to the face lift is a must read. We are already doing many things right, such as taking our vitamins, eating well, etc. With only a few minor changes they teach how to become even more beautiful.

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New Book Shows Women Outperform Men

by Lisbeth Endre   thumbnail

Contrary to jokes and one-liners, women are better drivers than men. They’re also better at getting the joke. They are better beer tasters. And better with hammers. And video games. And social networking.  They have a better memory. And did we mention, they get dressed faster than guys?  I’ve always known this but now it’s not an opinion, it’s fact, and Dan Abrams can prove it.

Abrams explains step-by-step why women are better than men in just about every way imaginable, from managing money to flying planes to living longer. Abrams is the chief legal analyst for NBC News, and uses his trademark charm to get his point across without opining on the issue himself. Chock-full of fun facts and conversation starters, this book may not end the debate of men versus women, but it will definitely make it more interesting.

What do you say?  I can think of 10 ten things women do better than men.  How many things can you come up with?

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Not Your Ordinary Holiday Party Survival Guide

by Sophia Marcel  carb-diet1

I know you’ve heard and read all the best tricks on how to avoid putting on the pounds over the holidays. But if you are like me where smelling carbs packs on the weight, you will want to read New York Times bestselling cookbook from Health magazine, The Carb Lovers Diet.

Contrary to everything I thought I knew, a new breakthrough research revealed in this book shows how certain carb-rich foods-especially those with the amazing natural ingredient called Resistant Starch-act as powerful metabolism boosters and appetite suppressants.

So rather than making you feel bloated as decades of low-carb diet gurus have claimed, CARBS actually aid in making you thin. They help shrink fat cells; boost fat burning; increase muscle mass; curb cravings, and shrink belly fat faster than other foods, even when the same number of calories are consumed. They also keep you feeling full longer than other foods; control blood sugar, and lower cholesterol “and” triglycerides!

“Health” Magazine, the expert when it comes to healthy living, takes this revolutionary new science and turns it into an easy-to-follow, real women-tested, dietitian-approved road map proven to “melt off 10, 35, even 100 plus pounds forever.

The Carb Lovers Diet is a must have. It shows you how to eat your favorite carb-filled foods-to help you get on your way to a thinner and happier you. It’s filled with easy-to-follow eating rules, quick tricks, even grocery lists. You will find easy to make recipes and they’ve included hundreds of frozen foods and restaurant menu items for those of us who don’t like to cook. Do I sound excited?’

This year I’m staying away from the eggnog and having champagne. Rather than going for the mini quiche, I’ll opt for the dark chocolate covered strawberries!

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How Do We Stop Stressing And Start Living?

by Sohia Marcelclouds

A few years back, Roberta Lee, M.D., co-director of the Integrative Medicine Felowship at Beth Israel’s Continuum Center for Health and Healing in New York and author of The SuperStress Solution,  did a study on patients who were showing telltale symptoms of post tramatic stress disorders, anxiety and sleep disturbance.  She said these patients hadn’t  been through any terrifying ordeal and in fact denied feeling overly stressed at all.

What she found out was that these people had been living under such extreme stress for so long, they didn’t know they were stressed, she said, ” it had become an invisible part of the landscape of their lives”.

According to, Stephanie  McClelan, M.D, and Beth Hamilton M.D., co-authors of So Stressed: The Ultimate Stress Relief Plan for Women, we each have our very own stress personality. The stress response is influenced by many factors, and I tend to agree we all don’t process stress in the same way.

Just recently I read an article in one of my new favorite magazines Body+Soul,  written by Teri Trespico,  that the key factor behind our stress response is our level of cortisol, a hormone excreted by the adrenal glands during moments of heightened anxiety.  Someone who underproduces cortisol may feel sensitive to stress.

Trespico lists 7 things you can do to relieve stress:

1. Reframe stress positively. Don’t get derailed from your larger goals. Rather ran viewing the world as unfair, acknowledge that are events which are largely out of your control.

2. Get moving. Exercise produces serotonin and norephins, which create a sense of euphoria.

3. Get plenty of sleep. The importance of sleep is beneficial for more than just stress.

4. Find Meaning in work. Job pressure tops the stress list. The key to coping is to find meaning in what you do. Look beyond your daily tasks to how you personally contribute to your team.

5. Stay connected. There is a reason we reach for others when we are stressed.

6. Hit the brakes. The capacity for rest important. Give yourself at least a 10-15 minute time out.

7. Eat the right foods. Whole food sources of tyrosine and tryptophan, animon acids help produce balancing neurotransmitters. Try avocados, spinach, nuts, oats and yogurt.

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Stellar Guide to Health and Well Being

by Sophia Marcel

plrx-cover-410x570

Before you dismiss the idea of taking an astrological approach to determine your health and wellness, try to keep an open mind in that Astrology has been used in healing and medicine since ancient times.

It originated in Egypt with its earliest texts being ascribed to Hermes Trismegistos. It was taught in the Egyptian Schools and passed down to ancient Greece, where it was taught by Plato and practiced by the Father of Medicine, Hippocrates.

Planetary Apothecary, written by Stephanie Gailing discusses how a person’s astrological sun sign can be an indicator of health and key to wellness. The book offers a range of holistic healing approaches that address each sign’s health issues.

Don’t know your Moon and Rising sign?  No problem. You can readily find out your personal information. Just go to Astro.com, where you can find your natal birth chart free of charge.

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Last One Down the Aisle Wins

by Sophia Marcel8581_original5

I have friends that have been married for years so this won’t be true in all cases.

Last One Down the Aisle Wins, is not about waiting around until you hit your 30’s to get hitched. It’s a practical guide in which Celeste and Shannon give women in their twenties 10 keys to a better chance of having a great single life and even better marriage later in life.

In fact, statistics show that if you wait and marry at thirty, your chances of having a healthy, long-lasting relationship more than double. So before rushing off to become someone else’s better half, take the time to become the best, strongest whole person you can be!

Last One Down the Aisle Wins has the potential to become the next ‘must read’ for twenty something women everywhere.

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Hungry For Curves

hungryjacketBy Holly

Have you heard the most recent uproar regarding curves?

Well, apparently, Lane Bryant has come out with a commercial that shows a little too much skin–at least according to ABC and Fox, who both initially refused to air it. (I believe Fox recently agreed to run the spot after an upcoming American Idol episode.)

Given that most Victoria Secret models seem to pop up everywhere in their underwear, I think it’s a bit hypocritical to start fussing about what curvy women look like in their underwear, don’t you agree?

This “controversy” brought to mind the fabulous plus size super model, Crystal Renn, and her incredible book: Hungry.

In it, Renn gives a riveting, personal account of her experience in the modeling industry. Her courage and strength to take charge of her life, health, and career is an inspiring and positive read, which I highly enjoyed and most certainly recommend.

I do have to say, though I do not begrudge any woman her body type, I would personally like to see the media embrace curves more.

After all, it’s not a full representation of real life when popular imagery doesn’t reflect all the beauty in the world around us. We need the sensuality of curves just as much as the delicate lines of the ultra petite. Otherwise, we risk losing our depth and our perception will be forced into unreality–which, in the end, can only leave us “hungry” for something more satisfying. ;)

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Dr. Romanzi Talks Lubrication After 40

romanzi

Our resident Vaginal Phitness expert, Dr. Lauri Romanzi, educates the SweetTalk community with answers to your most pressing, personal questions.

Q: Dear Dr. Romanzi, Why do women experience pronounced vaginal dryness after 40, and what lubricants do you recommend for women over 40?

A: Aaaah, the Magic of Estrogen.

First, a little background: Before puberty, estrogen levels in girls circulate at a tiny fraction of normal adult levels. At puberty, the ovaries start cranking out estrogen to full – range, grown woman levels, and stay that way til about age 35, when the slippery slope toward menopause goes gently into first gear.

By age 40-45, fertility, skin integrity, bone density, cardiovascular resilience and even memory can be affected as the reduction in estrogen production accelerates into third gear.  For many women this “Change before the Change” is confusing, because they continue to menstruate, and may even become pregnant, as these menopausal symptoms cavort erratically around the edges of their lives. One month is “normal”, the next nutty with late menses, heavy flow or light spotting, hot flashes, night sweats, aches and pains, insomnia and mood swings in a rollercoaster of unpredictability that heralds the life cycle book-end mate to the process of puberty. My New York City colleague, Dr. Laura Corio, coined this phrase, “The Change Before The Change”, and used it as the title of her book on health in the decade before menopause.

Regarding vaginal dryness and lubrication: The vulva, vagina, clitoris and lower urinary tract skin surfaces contain a high density of estrogen receptors, and as these receptors undergo peri-menopausal deprivation in the early to mid-40’s, many women report uro-genital symptoms.  In the vagina, these may include dryness, poor spontaneous sexual lubrication, reduced clitoral sensitivity, difficulty achieving orgasm, and muted orgasm intensity. And here’s the ironic truth – overweight women tend to fare better because body fat makes its own estrogen, called estrone, that, when present in high levels, minimizes the impact of reduced ovarian estrogen production, called estradiol. Skinny women make very little estrone, overweight women make a lot of estrone. Both skinny and overweight women’s ovaries run out of estradiol between age 35-ish and menopause.

A woman who is sensitive to reduced estrogen production in the 40’s and beyond, sex may be plagued by painful dryness that is often frustrating and confusing, both for her and her sexual partner. With reduced estrogen production, the exquisitely estrogen- sensitive skin of the vulva, vagina, and clitoris literally becomes thin, dry, and brittle. As a doctor, I’ve taken care of many women over the years in stable, happy, sexually active relationships who come in to the office utterly mystified by these symptoms, with partners convinced that the women don’t love them any more or accuse them of having an affair. so abrupt and intense can be the sexual impact of estrogen deprivation.

My favorite treatment option for hormone-related vaginal dryness is … hormones: Recoil not, as this does not mean total-body-dose (a.k.a. systemic) hormones. You can use ultra-low-dose vaginal estrogen therapy that rejuvenates the vaginal skin to youthful elasticity, sensitivity, and lubrication. It does this by making those poor, deprived estrogen receptors in the vagina, vulva and clitoris happy.  There is not enough estrogen in these local estrogen treatments to increase estrogen blood levels, and there is no evidence that they increase cancer risks, as some total-body hormone regimens might. Ultra-low-dose vaginal estrogen therapies come in cream (fingertip application), suppository (vaginal insertion) and ring (vaginal insertion 4 times per year) form.  I shared this low dose vaginal estrogen information on the Dr. Oz show a few weeks ago.

Lubricants help with dryness, but will not improve elasticity or sensitivity. The best lubricants are water soluble and paraben free. Glycerin-free lubricants are best for women who cannot tolerate this additive, and silicone based lubricants require less re-application. Lubricants contain no hormones.

Oils and herbs are purported to reduce vaginal dryness, however clinical trials thus far fail to demonstrate efficacy, and oils may throw off vaginal pH or turn rancid, ultimately causing vaginal irritation and possible increased risk of vaginitis.

Several of my European patients are using hyaluronic acid vaginal suppositories, which are not available in the U.S.  These novel vaginal ovules help maintain cellular hydration, and are marketed both for post-operation healing and menopausal dryness.  Given that these ovules contain no hormones, it is likely that this product will not improve sensitivity, but would restore lubrication and thereby improve elasticity.  Catch the red-eye to Paris and let us know if it works for you!

Back to lubricants before I finish: The shop shelves buckle under the voluminous assortment of 21st century sexy lubricants with additives designed to improve blood flow, enhance sensitivity and super-charge orgasm intensity.  Marketing trials are not the same as scientific, clinical trials published in peer-reviewed medical journals, and it is not clear that the robust marketing claims are born out in the bedroom. That said, if these pumped-up lubricants rock your world, are paraben free and water soluble, have at it!

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Tap the Power of Positive Thinking

loabookcoverBy Yasmine Zapp

It seems to me that no matter what religion you follow, the power of positive thought is always close at hand.

Recently I have been following the “Law of Attraction” and have noticed a definite change around me.

The Abraham-Hicks motto is “You are loved. All is well”. It has kind of a beautiful ring to it, right? If we were to just stop for a moment and think about it, life is (in fact) beautiful, and we should choose to smile more often than scowl.

This “understanding” of  positive energy and flow has been around for ages. The Pharaohs did it, worldly philosophers did it, and so did the early pioneers and gold rushers. They all seemed to get the idea of thinking affirmatively (keeping their eye on the prize, so to speak) and not worrying about the negative. Big changes or little changes, it doesn’t seem to matter.

To basically break it down for those unfamiliar, the Law of Attraction is:

  • Ask – for what you want
  • Believe – it is already yours
  • Receive – graciously accept

It sounds simple enough, right? If you were to try it, really commit to it, you might be surprised with your results.

Personally, I have seen it work in my own life. As soon as I made up my mind to “change my brain”, I started operating at a different level. Because of this new way of being, I changed my look (no more blond for this girl), got an agent and am now on my way to becoming a series regular–fingers crossed and hopefully the Producers are tuned into this, LOL!

Sure, I may have days when nothing seems to be working, but the key it is to NOT give up on your positive affirmations or yourself. Tap into the flow, release expectation, and watch the whole world bloom around you!

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Aging Gracefully

thumbnailca5njjl5by Sophia Marcel

I caught a glimpse of Raquel Welch on the Joy Behar Show earlier in the week on one of her many stops as she is out promoting her book Life beyond Cleavage.

Valerie Bertinelli was filling in for Behar, who was out for the day doing the Jay Leno show. Anyhow, I just couldn’t get over the fact that Raquel Welch is 70 years old, and how good looks for her age. Apparently, neither could Bertinelli who also doesn’t look her age, as she kept asking her what her secret was to aging so well.

Raquel Welch has always denied having any cosmetic surgery to maintain her looks and attributes her beauty to nothing more than a healthy diet and plenty of exercise. She once claimed she spent up to ten hours a day keeping herself in shape through a combination of yoga sessions, weight training, healthy eating and her make-up regime.

In her book she does claim she has always used frownies to smooth out her wrinkles. Naturally I looked them up and immediately ordered me some. I will work on the exercise later.

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Raquel Welch Goes Beyond The Cleavage

rwbeyondthecleavagecvrBy Harlow Essex

Raquel Welch is speaking out on her life as a sex symbol in her new autobiography/personal philosophy Raquel, Beyond the Cleavage.

During a recent interview with Oprah, Welch referred to several men she recognizes in her book, two of which are Elvis Presley and Bob Dylan.Also in the book, Raquel shares her feelings on being a single mom while emerging as a Hollywood sex symbol in One Million B.C., and shares insight on owning one’s sexuality with age.

On ABC news, Welch talked about how she has been perceived and referred to as an object, a sexual object. She offers advice now knowing what she does, hoping to shed some light for women who empathize.

“CONTRARY TO POPULAR MYTH, I DIDN’T JUST hatch out of an eagle’s nest, circa One Million Years B.C., clad in a doeskin bikini. In fact, I was more surprised than anyone to find myself on location in such an exotic setting, high atop a volcanic mountain in the Canary Islands! With the release of that famous movie poster, in one fell swoop, everything in my life changed and everything about the real me was swept away. All else would be eclipsed by this bigger-than-life sex symbol.” – Raquel Welch, Beyond the Cleavage

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Sex is Bliss with Lora Somoza

Lora SomozaDo you know our BFF Lora Somoza? If not, you really are missing out.

Lora is known online, and all over Southern California, as “the naughty Dear Abby” and “the West Coast’s Carrie Bradshaw”.

But, most importantly, Lora is the author of one of our favorite books on sex advice for women: Bliss in The Bedroom. (She gave SweetSpot Labs products a delightful shout out on page 76. Thanks girl!)

From the moment you read the first paragraph of Bliss, you know that Lora is someone who lives out loud. She immediately makes you feel comfortable with her organic approach to sex–one that doesn’t leave room for shame or embarrassment.

During a recent phone interview, Lora admitted to being a rather unlikely “sexpert”. “It wasn’t as if I was sitting around, as a little girl, in a pink tutu thinking I wanted to be a sex expert when I grew up!” Indeed: Her book was born from a very adult journey of self-discovery–a shattering of myths and illusions that hold us women back from realizing a fun and fabulous sex life.

Bliss in The Bedroom contains straight forward tips, advice, and techniques that help you get “out of your head” and into the moment. As Lora will tell you, finding your sexual confidence comes from knowing what you like and who you like–not the other way around. Accepting who you are at the deepest level and learning to communicate that sexually with your partner is what enables you to experience mind-blowing sexual bliss; in the bedroom…on the kitchen table…wherever you decide to experience it.

With wedding season on the approach, we couldn’t think of a better shower gift–except maybe a collection of SweetSpot Labs treats and a copy of Bliss in The Bedroom presented in a saucy binder.

In any case, we hope you’ll soon connect with Lora and discover your bliss!

(PS: Are you a fan of LA Talk Radio? Tune in every Thursday to The DAMage Report and hear Lora chat about today’s hottest issues, as a guest panelist on comedian Johnny Dam’s radio show.)

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Eat. Pray. Love… with Julia Roberts

by Harlow Essex

Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love was a New York Times bestseller and pleasure read across the nation.  The memoir chronicles Gilbert’s adventures in 3 countries. Spanning a year, Gilbert travels in search of mental and emotional clarity, hoping to redefine and redirect her life path.

Like many other popular novels, the story has been transferred to the silver screen with a pretty dingy cast. (And by dingy I mean freakin fabulous.) Directed by Ryan Murphy, Julia Roberts leads the ensemble followed by hunks James Franco and Javier Bardem. The film’s expected release date is August 13, 2010.

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Still Reading Young Adult?

normal_harry_potter_7By Harlow Essex

LA Times writer Susan Carpenter notes the influential progression of Young Adult books in the mainstream. Specifically, Carpenter takes note of the adult public’s interest in literature about and for young adults.

Book series like Harry Potter, Twilight, The Hunger Games, The Lightning Thief, and The Book Thief have become increasingly popular with many adults. It’s usual for librarians, parents, and teachers to have an active interest in what the youth is reading and liking. Nowadays, popular adventure, romance, and fantasy novels about teenagers intrigue just about everybody, attributing intelligent writing and exciting narratives as key ingredients everyone can appreciate.

I personally heard about Twilight from an older colleague who enthusiastically raved about its intense teen vampire drama. I then found out Cayla, (age 12) whom I baby-sit for, had read all 4 books in a matter of two months. In recollection, I can say the same happened with Harry Potter when I realized I had been reading it the same time my mother, boyfriend, and younger cousin were.

What does this all mean? Perhaps we as adults still want to connect with the youth of today, or maybe we have a lot more in common than we think?

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The Bucket List

1000placescoverBy Yasmine Zapp

Do you have a list of things that you want to see or do before it’s your time to go, like visiting a tropical destination or somewhere covered in snow? Is your strong desire to dive out of a plane, swim with the sharks, climb the pyramids of Egypt,  or white water raft on the Colorado River?

I hadn’t thought much about my “bucket list” until I came across this book 1,000 Places To See Before You Die by Patricia Schultz, and I have to say I was quite intrigued.

As I started to flip through the pages, I was amazed at all the beauty this world has to offer. Suddenly, my list started to change….and grow. Here are a few things I’ve added:

Every Spring, Japan welcomes tens of millions of people to view the indescribable beauty of the Cherry Blossom trees. As the gentle wind blows, it carries the petals of these delicate flowers across the sky and over various temples that dot the landscape. To me, this is a “go for the food and stay for the flowers” type of situation.

Peru is home to Machu-Picchu (Old Mountain) and it’s ancient Incan ruins. This Lost City is one of the most haunting and beautiful places that, until recently, was kept hidden. Able-bodied visitors can hike there in 3-5 days along the Incan Trails. I think this hidden gem would make a great elopement destination.

Petra (The Rose Red City), located in Jordan, is one of the wonders of the Middle East, which was rediscovered in the early 1800′s. It originally dates back to 56 B.C., and can only be reached by entering through a 6 foot passageway. This fortress city is as bold as it is delicate. The intricately carved temple makes you wonder who had the pleasure of living in it. A portion of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was shot there…and for good reason.

Victoria Falls lies on the border of Zimbabwe and Zambia, and gives Niagara a run for its money. These falls can be seen from 40 miles away, as they crash 400 feet into a gorge below. This truly is a fantasy destination for any adventurous traveler — like me! Better still, you can take a plane trip (named “Flight of the Angels“) over the scenic falls. This is a definite must do on my list.

Those are just a few of the discoveries I’ve made, within the pages of this incredible book. Reading further has made me see the world through new eyes, as a big and wondrous a place. It makes me want to get out and see every part of it.

So what do you say? Who’s with me? ;)

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Like Brushing your Teeth

peptalks1by Amanda Paige

I came across a book this weekend called Pep Talks & Picker-Uppers.  I grabbed it up, because it had one of my favorite says on the back “It could be worse” and in this day and age who doesn’t need a picker-upper? 

So this is for all of you who are feeling woe from Valentines-whether you have a signifcant other or not-I thought you might need a little pep talk!  Here is an excerpt from the book, “According to a 2008 survey by the condom manufacturer Durex, two-thirds of Americans believe they’re not having enough sex.  Encourage sexless friends to take a cue from the recently published Just Do It and 365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy, in which the two sets of married authors write about their commitment to have daily sex-no matter what.  These chronicles are calls to action: just do it, a lot, and the relationship will pick itself up.”

Now this might be a little extreme, but you get the picture, it takes change to see change.  Be the change you want to see and keep in mind everbody else is having a lot less sex thank you think!

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Find The Best Lingerie For Your Body

lingeriehandbookcover By Holly

Though we’ve touched on the topic of lingerie in SweetTalk land before, with Valentine’s Day coming up, I thought it would be a great idea to pull out the heavy-hitting resources, and help you celebrate the day (and night) in sexy style!

First a confession: This thought was actually inspired by one of my friends on Twitter, @FaireFrouFrou, and her fabulous blog and lingerie boutique! This is a mother-daughter business located in Studio City, CA, so if you’re in their area, stop in and shop.

But first, you may want to pick up a copy of The Lingerie Handbook. Authored by Rebecca Aspan — the owner of La Petite Coquette in New York City — along with Sarah Stark.

In this handy handbook, Rebecca shares practical advice on how to find your perfect fit in everything from daily bras and under garments to “specialty” lingerie. Her advice is met with enthusiastic acceptance and sterling reviews, so I’d say this is a must have for every woman (I’d leave it where your lover will see it, too).

Not the bookish type, huh? What about a quick tutorial? This YouTube video may be just what you (or your someone special) needs before making that shopping trip.

Now that you’re set up for success in your lingerie mission, don’t forget to stock up on intimate grooming essentials. Because, as all modern vixens know, sexiness goes hand-in-hand with sweetness!

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Match-maker

millionaire_matchmaker_coverbookby Harlow Essex

So my recent guiltiest pleasure is Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker. Now, before you go judging me, I must attribute my fascination to Patti Stanger and her infectious personality. The basic premise of the show is to find love. More specifically, Patti arranges dates for millionaire’s. Women try out and hope to be chosen for a mixer where at, they meet two millionaire’s and try to shmooz them. What intrigues me the most I think isn’t whether or not the millionaire’s find love, but Patti’s advice on relationships.

Most of the men over thirty are interested in young twenty somethings. Patti calls these men, “age-ists”. Last night I heard her guest speak on Love-Line with Dr. Drew. A caller asked why he cannot commit to women that are successful. Patti replied that men who are successful, are put off by successful women because there is constant competition. Men need to feel like the bread winners, they are “hunters”. On the other hand, unsuccessful men enjoy being with successful women because they know they are not on the woman’s level. They are okay taking letting the women have success as long as it doesn’t over bear their own.

That’s one opinion. On the Matchmaker show, Patti also insists on one very specific rule: no sex before monogamy. She mentioned on the Love-Line show as well as on her show, that all men, some more strongly, are hunters. They become tired with women once they’ve slept together. The challenge is over. Patti strictly prohibits her millionaire bachelors from engaging in any sexual activity unless they have committed to one another exclusively. This poses a problem for some of the men, as you would imagine.

Some of her thoughts and methods seem quite logical and I can’t help but watch the interactions between the men and women. In case you can’t catch the show on Tuesdays at 10 on Bravo, check out the website,

 http://www.bravotv.com/the-millionaire-matchmaker .

 Thoughts?

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Why you, the Sassy Girl Need to Read this Book

by Sophia Marcel

 book_cover

Screw Cupid is the guide for every woman ready take her dating life into her own hands. Samantha Scholfield, writer and dating coach has many years of dating experience and by interviewing and collaborating with hundreds of women, she is able to give us the best extensive pickup advice which she say’s is already circulating among men.

She will teach you how to comfortably initiate a conversation with men, anytime, anywhere.

• How not to pick up your Hot Guy
• The secret you can’t afford to live without.
• 5 techniques to build skills and confidence
• The “Good Guys” are everywhere
• Sexy, not bitchy — the importance of calibrated teasing
• Body language
• The importance of figuring out your “Hell No”s and “Must Have”s
• What Hot Guys find attractive

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Are you so stressed?

sostressedbookcover By Christiénne Miller

Just reading the title of this book gives me relief. I, for one, am so grateful to Drs. Stephanie McClellan and Beth Hamilton — as well as Diane Reverand — for studying and defining the ways women stress, and its effects on our health and well-being.

I decided to add this to my collection after seeing Juju Chang’s interview with the authors on Good Morning America and visiting their So Stressed website.

In summary, these wonderful women came up with “stresser” types and, after reading mine, I have to admit I cried a little. It felt like a deep hug from someone who cares.

Instead of typical labels women hear like: hysterical, bitchy, passive, neurotic, they feature comprehensive explanations of how each type processes stress; list the health issues each seems to face; and — most importantly — provide successful ways to manage and relieve their stress.

Now breathe…and go get a copy…I am!

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The Prince and The Frog

by Sophia Marcel

malepass

An older man is walking down the street when he hears a frog talking. The frog says, “if you pick me up and kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful woman.”
The man picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket.
“Aren’t you going to kiss me?” the frog complains. “I’ll turn into a ravishing woman and you can have me all you want.”
“I’d rather have a talking frog in my pocket.”

This is a passage by author Gail Sheehy, in her book Understanding Mens Passages. The topic of mid life crises was something men never talked about. It could be that writers are becoming of age, that we are now seeing more TV shows such as Ray Romano in Men of a Certain Age. The weekly sitcom uncovers some of the real issues facing men today such as finding new passions and purpose to invigorate the second half of their lives. Manopause usually begins at age forty so women everywhere brace yourselves, it won’t be easy.

Men as well as women should read the book it has hundreds of bold, imaginative men–celebrities as well as everyday heroes–sharing their most intimate desires, deepest fears, and most fervent cravings for renewal.

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Literature of 2009

literature1by Harlow Essex

Come December of every year, VH1 and E! along with most other magazine publications come up with “Best of 2009″ lists. It’s nice reminiscing about the year, reminding our selves of the highs and lows.

The editors of The New York Times compile one of my personal favorite lists:  100 notable books of 2009. Their annual compilation is usually trustworthy of great non-fiction, fiction, short stories, and poetry.

Check it out!:  http://www.nytimes.com/gift-guide/holiday-2009/100-notable-books-of-2009-gift-guide/list.html

Authors include: Robert Cohen, Valerie Martin, Wells Tower, Lorrie Moore, Paul Auster, Richard Holmes, Karen Armstrong, and Stephen Johnson.

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Giving Thanks with “A GrateFul Heart”

mjr_a_grateful_heartBy Christiénne Miller

Every Thanksgiving I take the opportunity, as many people do, to reflect on what I’m truly grateful for in my life.

Though I also do semi-daily gratitude lists throughout the year, this holiday ritual is different: It always produces an abundance of wonderful treasures that enrich my overall well-being.

Imagine my joy, then, when this tasty treat landed on my consciousness plate. It was brought to my attention by my new friend and “Writing Down Your Soul” author, Janet Conner. Thank you Janet!

The back cover of “A Grateful Heart: Daily Blessings for the Evening Meal from Buddah to The Beatles” by change expert M.J. Ryan states simply that it contains “365 ways to give thanks for the bounty of our evening meals.”

Boy does this book deliver on that promise. In it, there seems to be an appropriate blessing and sentiment for every meal and occasion, from an unparalleled collection of beautiful writing. Another perk of this book is that it’s organized by the four seasons of Nature, which further sets the tone for the writings inside.

So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving and giving in general, I felt compelled to share “A Grateful Heart” with you, my SweetTalk girlfriends. Because, and I think the message on page 251 says it best, “In the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.” — John Lennon and Paul McCartney.

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Want to know? Snoop!

snooplowres For many of us, there’s something taboo about snooping around other people’s stuff. To Sam Gosling, it’s a necessary process in the understanding of one another.

Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You, is Sam’s guide to the five main personality types and what their “stuff” (a.k.a. “behavioral residue”) says about who they are psychologically — which is something he knows well, as an associate professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and recipient of the 2008 American Psychological Association’s Distinguished Scientific Award for Early Career Contribution.

Don’t, however, let his professional accolades deter you from this amusing and fascinating read. Snoop presents Sam’s scientific findings in an extremely charming and entertaining way.

For instance, did you know that rock fans are less friendly than fans of religious music? How about that a business office with more personal items displayed shows a stronger commitment to the company? You may also want to think twice about that person you’re dating, because of what’s in their refrigerator.

With holiday visits on the horizon, Snoop may be just the spice to make this season naughty and nice. Imagine how different friends and loved will appear when you explore their personalities as a newly elucidated “snoopologist”!

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Need Guidance? Follow your Toes.

toereadingbykcmiller By Christiénne Miller

My Friday confession from my fingertips to your eyes is that I’ve spent the entire morning playing with my toes. Well, not so much playing, per se, but trying to “read” them.

It all started with a brief news segment I saw featuring KC Miller, Founder/Director of the Southwest Institute of Healing Arts in Tempe, Arizona.

With a background in reflexology and other healing arts, KC reads toes, offers a free toe reading course and toe products for spiritual healing, in addition to authoring the book Toe Reading: Are You Walking Your Destined Path?

In fact, at her site www.toereadingonline.com, you can watch a 30 minute video that gives an overview of the pathology of toes and toe reading. During the video, KC also gives her take on what she picks up from some celebrity toes, and conducts a “live” toe reading with a volunteer. Seriously, this is the stuff I LIVE for!

If that wasn’t enough to keep me enthralled with my toes, KC also has a site called Celebrity Toe Watch for — yep you guessed it — deciphering what’s really going on with the objects of our celebrity obsessions. All I can say is, poor Oprah. I’m thinking she needs to sit down with KC and get her toes in order!

I’m warning you though, toe reading has the potential to really tickle your fancy. There’s a fine line between healing art and fetish on this one, so if you find yourself frantically focusing on everyone’s feet, perhaps you’ve stumbled off your path a bit and need to return to the messenger ala phalanges of your own two feet.

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Corn Flakes, a Must Read

book-hilburn-2tby Harlow Essex

Looking for a great read? This just in-: Robert Hilburn’s recent contribution, Corn Flakes with John Lennon. Acclaimed editor of the Los Angeles Times and longtime respected pop/rock music critic of the last 40 years, Robert Hilburn has compiled years of rare interviews with the likes of Johnny Cash, John Lennon, Michael Jackson, and Bruce Springsteen to name a few. In this unique manuscript, Hilburn reflects on the ways he has changed and been changed by the people and artists he’s covered.

“Corn Flakes with John Lennon is more than about one man’s adventures in rock and roll: It’s the gripping and untold story of how popular music reshapes the way we think about the world and helps to define the modern American character.” LA Times.

“Hilburn’s amazing resilience and commitment for music shines through his decades of reportage and reviews of music. On behalf of the musicians of the ’60s on, I thank you for having been the communicator of our music with love.” –Yoko Ono

So excited! I think, a must read for music lovers everywhere.

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Grief Gives Way

how-to-survive-the-loss-of-a-loveBy Christiénne Miller

2009 has been a year of tremendous loss on many levels — jobs, loved ones, our sense of security and well being.

A few days ago, Good Morning America broadcast an excerpt from the Women’s Conference: Dealing with Grief, showing that all of us — no matter our social status — grieve.

Though it’s sometimes necessary — for a moment — to sit firmly at the bottom of a well of despair, most of us grow tired of the weight of our mourning. We don’t enjoy feeling depressed and helpless, but often lack the tools to climb out of our hole and back into the light.

That’s why one of my go-to resources, when grieving, is this wonderful book by Melba Colgrove, Ph.D., Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D., and Peter McWilliams. I’ve dusted off my copy of How to Survive the Loss of a Love many more times than I care to remember. I reached for this book with the break up of my first marriage and subsequent relationships, and every time I got laid off during the “dot bomb” era and subsequent financial crisis. I sleep with it clenched in my arms when news comes of the passing of someone dear to me.

To manage a deeper need, another great relief in moments of extreme pain and emotional distress is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They deal with all types of counseling (for veterans too) and can provide you with valuable support and information, vital to your well being.

Over the years, I’ve given many copies of this book to friends, relatives, and co-workers — to quietly honor the person who originally gave it to me. I hope, should you or someone you care about need it, these recommendations help you experience the comfort and courage to let your grief give way to joy, peace, and brighter days ahead.

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Classics for Kids

arts-graphics-2007_1182325aby Harlow Essex

When I was younger, I loved story time with my mom. Children’s books are a huge part of my youth, as I imagine they are for a lot of people.  Some stories didn’t have significant morals or lessons. The favorites always had colorful illustrations that told the story through lovely, elaborate images. As an adult though, having a more mature mind, have you ever re-read those stories and thought completely different about their meanings?

L.A. Times journalist Madeleine Brand thinks some stories are counter productive, teaching children lessons about resistance to individuality and restrictions on independence. Brand mentions The Giving Tree and The Rainbow Fish as two examples of stories she has re-read as an adult and felt were morally damaging to children. Among her favorites were The Frog and the Toad, a classic choice, and Bread and Jam for Frances.

Some children’s books are simply cute, happy, and fun to read through with a child. They may not have significant morals about life, but are a joy to read and re-read as an adult. People feel differently though, which Brand recognizes in her article. Books that may not be sending productive lessons about life can be helpful to parents too. It’s a great way to start a dialogue between the child and the parent, about what how they feel and think the stories are about.

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Aspiring A-Hole? Pepsi Has An App For That!

by Christiénne Miller

Happy Monday everybody, and if you’re consuming any type of Pepsi Cola product right now, I suggest you drop it in the trash immediately!

Actually, I was just expressing my first reaction to Pepsi’s latest advertising boner (I KNEW my choice to be a Coca Cola girl way back when was right!)

Pepsi’s AMP division has created the “cute” little iPhone app (see demo above) to further propel men down the lonely jerk highway, and away from any hopes of a meaningful relationship — a.k.a. say “Hello” to bachelorhood and mom’s basement with your fading rock posters hanging all over the walls.Though I must admit that I’m laughing pretty hard as I write this, my disappointment comes more from the thought that they went too far with what could be a hilarious concept. Done right, they could have gotten women behind it instead of raging about it. I’ll bet if this app was made in Britain, it would have the right amount of comedic finesse. Too bad some of us in this country are just too gauche to “make it work”, as our beloved Tim Gunn would say (even though Canada does have Dimitri, things like this app bring us close to that horror.)

I mean, we all know there’s a fine line between idiocy and brilliance and you never know which side the populous wind will blow you onto, but seriously Pepsi: Don’t you think it’s time we evolved past promoting these types of primitive brain mating tactics?

On the conspiracy side: Maybe this is the face of the new Pink Think. If so, I’m countering with Shira Tarrant’s Men and Feminism and a bit of Greg Baer’s Real Love thrown in for good measure.

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The Jinx of Pink Think

pinkthinkcoverBy Christiénne Miller

Wow, what a trip — is my overall reaction to this feminist masterpiece by the highly articulate and endearing Lynn Peril.

Reading this book is like having one of those glorious existential afternoons with a very close friend, which usually stretches into dinner and finishes with a bottle of wine and a good cry.

I simply love the way Peril writes — prolific, with an energetic stamina that makes the dense text easy to devour and digest. Her expert autopsy of the movement to realize the “ideal woman”, through carefully constructed “think pink” campaigns during the 1940s through the 1970s (with shocking similarities drawn to feminine propaganda in existence today), had me laughing, crying, and railing at the powers that have been, are here, and will be.

Another detail I appreciate about this brilliant book is that it doesn’t fall prey to the trappings of an all-out negative assault on “the establishment”, which many other works of the feminist genre seem to dissolve into.

Though, I must confess, I did find myself wanting to shout out “O.K. I get it, enough, please stop!” during some of the moments Peril takes to drive her points home, I highly recommend this book to every woman (and man for that matter) who has ever thought “What’s wrong with my mother?” or wonders where the often seemingly twisted rules on what it means to be a “real” or “natural” woman came from in the first place. You may also wish to put your therapist’s number on your favorites list (if it isn’t already there) for this one — it’s a mind blower.

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Brave New World

candygirl

by Cross Woodfield

Have I got a recommendation for you!!

Yesterday I had a delicious brunch in Trident Booksellers, the beloved bookshop/café on Newbury Street in downtown Boston.

I didn’t really feeling like reading my art history book, not because it’s boring so much as because it’s required…so instead I shopped the sale rack and found Diablo Cody’s Candy Girl:  A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper

As you probably know, Cody authored Juno (in my opinion one of the greatest movies of all time).  The book is a candid memoir of her real life, dramatic without being maudlin and totally hard to put down.

Stripping is a controversial topic in conservative circles and also über-liberal feminist ones alike.  But Cody de-mystifies in a way that makes it, to quote the Little Mermaid, part of our world.

I love her, and I am loving the book-my feelings about strippers and sweet spots in general are being challenged and adjusted at the turn of every sale-priced page.

What do you all think about stripping?  I’d love to hear pre- and post-Diablo opinions!

X

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LIBRA the Scales

libra_largetthumb1

by Sophia Marcel

And so she went on taking first one side and then another and making

A conversation of it altogether…

She generally gave herself very good advice

(though she seldom followed it)…

If you were born between September 24 through October 23rd that would make you a Libra. I got into a discussion with my girlfriend on the subject of Astrology yesterday. She made a statement to the effect that whatever your horoscope sign may be, when you read it, it could apply to any sign. And so it started…

I picked up a book at a yard sale years ago, Sun Signs by the author Linda Goodman. I went directly to the chapter on how to recognize a Libra, and lo and behold all my questions were answered. As you may have guessed by now, I happen to be a Libra . Come to find out I wasn’t cursed after all . I’m about as normal as they come.

As Linda Goodman explains it, Librans hate to be rude, yet they’ll straighten the crooked picture on your wall . Librans love people, but they hate large crowds. Like gentle doves of peace, they go around mediating and patching up quarrels between others; still they enjoy a good argument themselves. They’re good natured and pleasant, yet balk at taking orders. Librans are extremely intelligent. At the same time, they are incredibly naïve and gullible. They’ll talk your ear off, yet they are good listeners. Just because the sign is symbolized by the golden scales of justice, doesn’t mean that Librans are always perfectly balanced. It seems to be a logical deduction. After all, the purpose of scales is to balance. Did you ever watch the balancing process on a pair of old-fashioned pharmaceutical scales? At last I found the answer.

I recall my frustration on why I always felt compelled to having to help complete strangers, if I thought that they needed help. I always asked myself, why I couldn’t be more like one of my closest friends, who if she happen to drive by someone needing help would drive right on by so as not to be late for work…not me…Here I come to save the day!!! All you other Libras out there know what I mean, Right?

Thereafter, finding this book, I was hooked on astrology. My mission was to spread the wisdom to anyone who would listen. 95% of the time I would say Linda Goodman got it right. No kidding!

I stopped trying to recognize people signs long ago, although definitely think there’s some logic to the whole theory.

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Having Fun in Bed, Don’t Point A to Point O.

benfield_summer_romance1

by Sophia Marcel

Lose the routine.  We’re all creatures of habit, but even orgasms can start to feel unremarkable if you depend on the same tricks to get you there every time, says Rebecca Chalker, author of The Clitoral Truth.  The next time you’re having fun in bed, don’t go straight from point A to point O; the more you vary your sexual routine, the more things you’ll discover about what you like–and what you love. Sure, it’ll take longer than the tried-and-true way you’re used to but if James Joyce could make Molly Bloom’s orgasm last for 37 breathtaking pages in Ulysses (“…I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breast all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes…”), you can probably hold out for an extra minute or two, right?

Take time to explore and understand your body.  Yes it sounds hippie-dippie, but they used to say that about yoga too. And knowledge often equals pleasure.

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Skills that Separate the Women from the Girls

30

by Sophia Marcel

You may own a power suit. You may be able to craft a perfect French Twist (one handed! While changing lanes!) But if you haven’t mastered these talents, you’re not a grown up yet, says Siobhan Adcock, author of 30 Things Everyone Should Know How to Do Before Turning 30.

WRITING THE PERFEFT THANK-YOU NOTE  Adock’s no fail rule: Be genuine. “It’s not just about being appropriate–it’s about making someone feel appreciated.”

How to: Write someplace comfortable, with a cup of tea or wine. If you feel like yourself you will sound like yourself, so forget etiquette “rules.” Don’t gush; just write like you talk. And no, it’s never too late to write one, but sooner is better.

WHISTLING WITH YOUR FINGERS  “This is a fearless gesture,” says Adock. “It shows you’re not afraid to make noise–and it’s really useful for city girls.”

How-to: Tuck lips over teeth and fold the tip of your tongue up and back with your index fingers (pointing at each other but not touching). Push tongue down and blow! “It takes practice,” says Adcock. “People will stare, but it’s worth it.”

TAKING GREAT PICTURES “Everyone loves someone who can make them look great on film,” says Adcock. Think flattering, not forced.

How-to: First of all, move in close; faces are more interesting than bodies. If those faces are roundish, take the photo from slightly above eye level. Use a flash to diminish under eye circles. And be sneaky — informal shots usually turn out best.

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Dream On

Flaming June

Flaming June

by Sophia Marcel

For the most part I don’t remember my dreams.  However, I do recall dreaming about Elvis when I was younger, and more recently Brad Pitt.  A few weeks ago I had a dream that I had gone to a party with Richard Gere.  Once at the party, I went up to the bar for a drink where I sat next to Kevin Costner (I know what you are thinking).  Anyhow, we flirted for awhile and I was having a hard time deciding who I was going home with, I didn’t want to hurt Richard’s feelings but I was leaning towards Kevin.  Just then I woke up.  I tried so hard going back to sleep, so I could pick up where I left off, but it didn’t work.

What are dreams anyway?

Dreaming is universal.  People in all cultures have dreams and corresponding interpretations of what they might mean – a sign of the future or a message from the gods.  The Bible, as well as other great books of historical and revealed religion, show traces of a general and substantial belief in dreams.  Plato, Goethe, Shakespeare and Napoleon assigned to certain dreams prophetic value. The famine of Egypt was revealed by a vision.

Sigmund Freud called them a “royal road” to the unconscious mind, full of threatening sexual and aggressive urges that we normally keep in check.  In the 1970′s scientists figured out that dreams are regulated by a chemical that comes from our primitive brainstem and kicks off rapid-eye-movement, or the REM, phase of sleep. Some scientists concluded, then, that our dreams were simply random stories concocted by the brain.  Freudians were not happy with this view.  Three decades later scientist are still arguing, still studying.

Some of the most memorable dreams are the ones we have where we find ourselves falling, maybe you’re being chased, perhaps leaving the house without your clothes on.  How many of us remember Freddie Krueger, in NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET?  I could certainly relate to more than a couple of incidents from the movie.  Above all, dreams have the potential to take us beyond the sphere of our ordinary lives.  A good book to have if you are at all interested in dream interpretation is one by Gustavus Hindman Miller, 10,000 DREAMS Interpreted, an illustrated guide to unlocking the secrets of your Dreamlife.  As he explains two dreams are never the same, nor are two flowers ever alike.  If nothing else it makes for interesting reading.

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The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Girlfriend Getaways

We love this book, no not just because we are on page 27, but because Lisa put a lot of thought into it, taking out all of the guess work for us.  Grab a book and plan a trip now!

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One Fifth Avenue

one5thaveRead our review of “One Fifth Avenue” by Candace Bushnell and then buy it here from amazon.com.

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Tim Walker Pictures

timwalkerpicturesIf you are looking to buy an expensive ($125 new) coffee table book make it Tim Walker Pictures.  Each photo tells a story as the highly acclaimed fashion photographer lets you step into his world, to view fashion from his eyes.

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The Nylon Book of Beauty

thenylonbookofbeautyThis book challenges our notions of pretty.  Read what we thought, then get yourself a copy.

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